Oxytocin Overdose: Love Like Razorblades, 2009/2012
Acrylic, Paper, Ink, Pipe Cleaners, Glitter and Blades on Canvas 1/1
This is of Love but it is no love story. It is unattainable, frustration and loss. It is falling for someone with all your heart only to have their heart closed to you. The tears fall at night that they will never wipe away. This is no fairy tale. You may meet your soul mate but sometimes they don’t give a damn about you. It is not always happily ever after. In the composition there is a lot of blood, high color, light, broken hearts and an overall childish overtone to something that is very dark. There is a message here of Love being Childish: something silly, a fantasy, a waste of time and energy. It is the most draining, hurtful, detrimental force. It can bring out the worse in you, it can be the death of you and we have been trained to think that we must obtain a partner or fail horribly in life, alone and unsuccessful. Nevertheless, as a human, I need to Love. I need to Love, Lust, Fuck and Die- I hate it. It is an addiction. I Love it. Of course I only feel this way when you deny me, I feel dark, angry and hopeless. If you accepted me, I would give you my whole world and watch you burn it to the ground. I love you, you complete me, you destroy me.
Oxytocin Overdose: Love Like Razorblades
My masochistic fantasy
Keeping me in the forever state of need
a drug that cant be found
I fiend. I shake. Your seed
that spreads through the caverns of my mind
and holds captive what once was mine
so I’ll hope, I’ll wish, I’ll pray
in hypocrisy, my lips will stay
when they pretend to take me, I’ll know
that these fools are pawns, it’s yours
No, you’re mine. Pain is not the word for this
Obsession, Obsession is, Obsession is what drives me.
For obsession, I will never shed a tear
it’s not about you, it is you, just you
but it’s not about you.
I will find you, have you, Destroy you.
Like the child’s pet, I will love you and forget you
Before you even knew that you were bleeding
I’ll take it all and run away-Selfish
Just like you